I'm wandering through a fog of disconnect these days; is this my life? Do I belong in here somewhere? Oh yeah, and children! I have them! And a husband! And many many responsibilities! Which all seem very distant and blurry in this self absorbed little cocoon I seem to be lost in. I've felt like this before, on and off throughout my life, and don't particularly like the cotton ball feel of it, but what can I do? Wait it out, mostly. Hope that it goes soon. I come up for air for a day or two, and then there I am again, far away. It does help that I work alone, and can hole up in my studio for a few hours daily.
And work, well it keeps trudging along although I'm increasingly nervous about completing the actual work I'm contracted for. I'm still doing design work for completely different rooms in the house. Which are a lot of fun, admittedly. The kids room design involves people in 18th century period dress, all the way around the perimeter of a 16' X 21' room, including the very large ceiling. The folks on the ceiling (only two or three) are balanced on a tightrope, and leaning over the edge of the wall. The guy in the center will be holding up the chandelier. Remember the concept of the house starting out very old in the Great Room and getting more contemporary as it moves outward? Well, this is more outward. I was thrilled at the notion of dressing a couple of women in fabulous 18th century garb-- I immediately ordered several costume books, and had a grand time yesterday dressing them up in the coolest outfits I could come up with. Sort of like over the top paper dolls.
But I also have the Great Room maquettes at the point where I can distress them, which is painfully close to being done, and I can hardly bear setting them aside at this point. I am itching to get my hands on the real thing, on all those splendid canvases that have been prepared for me and are sitting in a warehouse gathering dust.
Oh, and here's a development that probably is not actually a development-- I was recently contacted by a company I have done work with in the past, who have asked me to bid on a mural for a large super luxury hotel in Los Angeles. I can't imagine it will get that far-- the work on my website is so representational, and I can't imagine the designers will see past that. I would like to expand beyond what I have now and explore more abstract pieces, but that's hard to do when you have only a couple of projects that show what you can do in that area. The good thing is that I honestly don't care, since I'm so busy already. But if a job like that actually came up, I would have to take it. Really. And I will have to get past my little slump to get ambitious again anyway. We'll see.